ஆள்வினை

I bumped into a TED talk today! I am glad I did! It is a talk by Sam Berns. It made me think, wow, how often do we think that the problems in our lives are bigger than us! And here is a young man, who understood life so very well and lived every single moment happily despite anything else!! Sam had a strange decease called Progeria - a rare decease that accelerates aging. Only about 350 people are affected by it in the entire world and there is no cure for it!

Here is the gist of the video 1) I choose to focus on activities I can do, and make adjustments so that those activities that I love to  do but in the cant do category move to the can do category. 2) Surround myself with people I want to be with - especially people of high quality who are energetic, enthusiastic, empathetic. 3) Keep moving forward! No point in looking backwards! We open new doors by moving forward 4) never miss a party :-)

The positive energy Sam radiates is awesome! The smile on his lips, voice and eyes puts all those crib and cry for simple issues to shame!  When I watched the video, I did not know that Sam has passed away!! He passed away last year - a few months from the recording. Hmm… How long we live does not matter! How we live is the only thing that matters!! I don’t know if Sam was thinking about all his unfulfilled dreams when he died but I am sure he would  not have regretted that he should have lived a better life! That is a big achievement!

I am comparing it with my life! Of course, the challenges I handle are not that big or not that cruel as the ones Sam had to face! But then, size of the problems does not matter that much as the reaction to the problems! From that sense the comparison is reasonable!!!

The questions I keep asking myself are, if I have to leave this world today, what will I take with me and what do I want to feel. I am happy that I have a life I do not regret at all! Like Sam puts it and like all of you, there are things in life I love to do but I can't do, I have learnt to accept them; if there is something I can turn positive, I give my best shot ! I am blessed to be with magnificent human beings who support me as much as they can. And I am very  choosy about whom to be with; I stay away from those who start a "why me" story. I stop to reflect but not to regret! I have realised that, ultimately what matters is the enthusiasm with which we lead our lives daily and the effort we put in to make things better! I think I acquired this attitude  from Thirukkural!

Thirukkural dedicates an entire chapter to ஆள்வினை- enthusiasm and effort. I like all the 10 couplets. But I have a favourite kural (618) that  is in the big poster on my wall!

பொறியின்மை யார்க்கும் பழியன்று அறிவறிந்து

ஆள்வினை இன்மை பழி.

The other side of the coin!!!!

This week has been a mix of emotions for me! This probably is the strongest! 

This article is a continuation of a couple of articles 1. Why Sukanya? 2. Brainwashing attempts. The trigger was a WhatsApp message that depicted the relationship of a senior male politician with an actress turned politician as an unprofessional one. I was taken aback for the nth time by this text received this evening! When I wrote my earlier articles, I was not this furious.  I should say, I was biased to an extent or in other words, I did not consider the other side of the coin that much!

I am thinking of the comment on chief minister's  letter to the prime minister on the fishermen's issues. That was an expression of an ugly mind. The only reason for the comment is, the chief minister and the prime minister are of different gender! It is the same case with today's WhatsApp text too. The political leader referred to is above 80 years old and the actress is above 45 years old. How can someone think of such a relationship between the two!

This annoying message I got today was sent by another lady, that too with a smiley! It made me even more furious.  She is working in IT industry; so she doesn't have a choice but to work with men. And, she comments this way on another woman!  Isn't it a shame?!?  Isn't it an expression of a biased dirty mind!?!

I'm seriously considering adding a few more  questions  to women as part of my Why Sukanya article.

1. Can you not trust other women to be as genuine as you are? If not, how do you expect others (including your spouse) to trust you?

2. Do you really understand how the world will go with your negative comments about another woman; that is, if you make a statement about another woman, that statement is valued as truth more than a similar statement made by a man? Have you read about the research done related to this? Do you care?

3. Do you know how your arbitrary comments can impact another woman's confidence, choices and decisions - More the genuineness, more the impact is! Just a remark from you can change someone's major decision and impact them for the entire lifetime! What will you do if it is on you, your daughter or sister?

4. Do you know that you are actually stopping your own progress - by making 1) genuine men more scared by such comments 2) other men exploit innocent women (by getting them worried about such statements)? 

5. The text message could/may have been created originally by a man who wants to stop women from joining politics or becoming more popular in politics or winning. Can you not use your brain before forwarding such Brainwashing attempts?

I am FURIOUS! Can we not teach humans to be humans and use their brain before acting?

இசைத்தமிழ்

முத்தமிழுள் இசைத்தமிழும் இயற்றமிழும் கவர்ந்த அளவிற்கு நாடகத்தமிழ் ஈர்க்கவில்லை. ஒருவேளை, இயலும் இசையும் தேவையான கதை சொல்லியதால், நாடகம் தேவைப்படவில்லையோ என்னவோ! எழுதுவதற்கு இயல் கைகூடினாலும், படிக்க இசையே அதிகம் கவர்கிறது!

இசைத்தமிழென்றால் அது கம்பனாகவோ, வள்ளுவராகவோ பாரதியாகவோதானிருக்கவேண்டும் என்பதில்லை. கூத்தின் நடுவே வரும் திரையிசையாக இருந்தாலும் அது இனிமைபயப்பதாகவே  தோன்றுகிறது! திரையிசையை ஒரு சின்னத்தீக்குச்சிக்குத் தின்னகொடுக்க நினைத்த வைரமுத்துவே பழைய பனையோலைகளில் எழுதியபின் திரைக்காக கவியெழுதும்பொது என்போன்றவர்கள் ரசிப்பதில் வியப்பென்ன?

ஒப்புமை சரியில்லை என்று இலக்கியவாதிகள் போர்க்கொடி தூக்கலாம்! பாரதியின் காதல் கவிதைகளை வாசிக்கும்போதும் தேசபக்திமிகும்; அவர் கண்ணம்மா தனியிருப்பாதாக சிறையிருப்பதாகப் பாடினாலும், அது இந்தியத்தாய் சிறையிருப்பது கண்டவேதனையாக நம்மால் எளிதில் உணரமுடியும்; ஆனால் வைரமுத்து தாய் மண்ணே வணக்கம் எனப்பாடினாலும் அதில் தாயன்பு தெரிவதைவிட தேசப்பற்று தெரிவதைவிட காதல் வழிவதாய்த்தான்படும் என்ற கருத்து கட்டாயம் வருமென அறிவேன்! ஆனால், ஒப்பீடு கவிகளுக்கிடையே அல்ல! எனவே, நண்பர்காள்! இதுகுறித்த வாதம் தவிர்ப்போம்! :-)

தமிழின்கூறுகளில் இசைத்தமிழ் மற்ற இரண்டையும் தன்னுள் அடக்கியிருப்பதாகத்தோன்றுகிறது! நாலடியில், இரண்டடியில் உலகஞானம் அளிப்பது இசைத்தமிழின் உயர்வன்றோ? அதுமட்டுமல்ல, ஒருவரியில் கதை சொல்லும் வலிமையும் இசைத்தமிழுக்கு மட்டுமே இருப்பதாகப்படுகிறது. சமீபத்தில் என்னைக்கவர்ந்தது  திரைக்கவிஞர் கபிலனின் "குழந்தையருகே குரங்கைப் பயந்தேன்" என்ற வரியொன்று! இதை இயலாலோ, கூத்தாலோ விளக்குவதற்கு எத்தகைய முயற்சிவேண்டும்? முடியுமா என்பதே கேள்விதான்!

ஒருவாய்ச்சோறு

ஆசி வாங்குவதற்கல்லாமல், யார் காலிலாவது விழுந்திருக்கிறீர்களா? மன்னிப்பு கேட்டோ, உதவி கேட்டோ காலில் விழுந்திருக்கிறீர்களா? நிஜத்தில் அல்லாமல் மானசீகமாகவாவது விழுந்திருக்கிறீர்களா? எத்தனை பெரிய உதவிக்காக? அப்போது உங்கள் மனநிலை என்ன? உங்களைவிட வயதில் குறைந்தவர் காலில் விழமுடியுமா?

சிறுஉதவிக்காக பிறர் பாதம் பணியத்துணிவீர்களா? ஒருவாய்ச்சோற்றுக்கும் ஒரு குவளை நீருக்கும், உங்களைவிட ஏறத்தாழ 40 வயது குறைந்த, முன்பின் தெரியாத பெண்ணின் பாதம் தொடுவீர்களா? உள்ளிருக்கும் கௌரவம் இடம் கொடுக்குமா? அப்படிக் கேட்கவேண்டுமென்றால், அந்த கர்வமழிக்க எத்தனை நாளைய பட்டினி வேண்டும்?

எண்பது வயது மூதாட்டி பாதம் தொடமுயல பதறிவிலகியது வலி என்றால், அதன்பின் அந்தப்பெண்மணி என் தலையில் கைவைத்து "மகராசியாய் இரு மகளே" என்று வாழ்த்தியது இன்னும் அதிக வலி! என் கைகளைத்தொட்ட அந்தக்கரடுமுரடான கரங்கள் அந்தப் பெண் கடுமையாய் உழைப்பவராயிருந்திருக்கவேண்டும் என்று உணர்த்தின! உழைத்ததைச் சேர்த்துவைக்க இயலாத நிலையா? அல்லது சேர்க்க நினைக்காத நிலையா? பிறர்க்கு வாரி வழங்கியாதால் சேர்க்கவில்லையா? சகமனிதர்கள் கைவிட்டனரா? காலம் கைவிட்டதா? உள்ளுக்குள் ஆடிப்போய்விட்டது!

ஒருவேளை உணவும், கொஞ்சம் பணமும் தவிர கொடுப்பதற்கு ஒன்றுமில்லை. காலப்போக்கில் உடைகள் மாறியதால், பயணத்தின்போது கையில் புடவைகளில்லை. வெய்யில் காலம் எனவே, சால்வைகளில்லை. பல்லில்லாத பாட்டிக்குக் கொடுக்க வாழைப்பழமில்லை; ஆப்பிள் மட்டுமிருந்தது! நெடுந்தூரக்கார்ப்பயணத்துக்காக, கையோடு எடுத்து வந்த மதிய உணவு உள்ளே இறங்க மறுத்தது! ஒருவாய்ச்சோறு!

இதைத்தாண்டி இன்னொருகேலி உள்ளோடுகிறது! என்னோடு வாருங்கள் என்று சொல்ல மனமில்லாமல், கொடுக்க ஒன்றுமில்லாதற்காக வருந்தி நாடகம் நடத்திக் கொண்டிருப்பதாக!!

Bharathi

This is in continuation of my earlier article கீதையின் கண்ணன். Okay, not exactly continuation in literal sense :-)! But, I myself was not convinced with my last paragraph of the earlier article which states that I like Bharathi because he too likes Krishna like I do! That statement kept peeping into my mind sometimes with a grin and sometimes with a sad smile. I think, that statement is only partially right, the other half is I like Krishna because I like Bharathi & he was one of the people who introduced Krishna to me strongly.

The schools I studied had close association with Bharathi! The village I was born and brought up was his wife's native village and he lived there for many years.  The names of the schools had his name as a result; there were a lot of opportunities to read his poems and learn about him as a person. There were a lot of events around him in the school. His birthday and death anniversary day had all types of events a school will host. There were taluk, district level events and events hosted by other literary  associations too.

The college where I did my graduation, though it did not have his name, was proud of being associated with him (who is not proud to be associated with him anyway!!!); and gave me more opportunities to know him better and deeper by means of competitions and other events.  It got into a nice virtuous cycle! The schools influenced reading, reading made me understand the beauty of his poems & created an appreciation for the fact that there is at least one poem to suit every single emotional state one would go through in life, that appreciation created affinity, affinity influenced reading! He became one of the role models for me! To me, he is one of the people who represent almost all of my value system:  value others as people, respect other culture but celebrate and cherish your own, fight for justice and freedom, take responsibility but give room to others to be themselves,  enjoy nature, all art forms and be cheerful at all times!

In other words, he is the only poet with whom I do not have disagreements yet!! Sure, I am not a literarian! But I read the works of Thiruvalluvar, Avvai, Bharathiar almost every week and Gnasambandar, Maanickavachakar, Sundarar and Kambar every now and then;  have started reading "Naaladiyar" by the Jain saints. Except Bharathi, I don’t seem to agree with all the other poets fully! There is at least one point I strongly disagree! I used to wonder if his poems are like the food cooked by my mom - I will never feel that I don’t like the taste, ever! Do  you like your mom's cooking because that is what you are used to or because she and you share same tastes or because she knows what exactly would you like! Hmm… He was not alive when I was born, so the third option is ruled out!! I started reading the other poets about the same age and I do not agree with them fully now; so first option is also ruled out!! So I feel it is the second option - that we both have same taste or values! 

I questioned the views of Kambar even as a small girl though I liked his language (I should say I was deeply fascinated by the linguistic beauty of his work) and as I grew up I strongly resisted his views on many aspects of life. Sure, he would have been restricted by the original story written by Valmiki! But I do not think I can take his views light because of that. Thirukural is one of the most translated work in the world and it is praised as a universal book of principles. Surely, Valluvar is one of my favourite poets and I consider him a genius. But I disagree with some of the principles described in thirukural! Good example is about the description of a good wife! One who worships (!) the husband can command the nature even if she does not worship God or has not done any penance to get such power; if she asks for rain, it will rain! There are similar examples for every poet!!

When I think about the reasons, more and more I am convinced that it is the second option - alignment of value system! There is a recent example to prove that. As a person, I never considered renunciation as a better virtue;  performing one's duties with utmost sincerity & commitment is much better than renunciation has been my view always. In fact, many times, I despised renunciations!  I read recently that he too did not appreciate renunciation; though he respected Swami Vivekananda, considered him as the chosen man for propagating Indian Philosophy, he did not like the fact that Vivekananda became a sanyasi. It was a new thing and surprising to learn that he condemned Swami Vivekananda for renouncing! Hmm… Surely, it is not the other two options at all!

I am still reading his work - 30 minutes once or twice week! I randomly open some poem and read. Interestingly, the randomly picked poems match my frame of mind on most of the days.  Kindness, love, anger, disgust, cheerfulness, agony, curiosity,  firm belief in future, courage… think of any possible emotion! He has at least one poem!

The poem I read today is on Krishna and it starts with the following lines! Hmm…

வேத வானில் விளங்கி அறஞ்செய்மின்

சாதல் நேரினும் சத்தியம் பூணுமின்

தீதகற்றுமின்!

Do what is right and just. Even if death comes as a result, be honest and remove all evil! Why would I not like him so much!