Brainwashing attempts!!

I got a propaganda text today through whatsapp! It claimed that men who are not disturbed by wives (Kalam, Vajapayee and the like) have proved to be great leaders and lead the nation in spite of where they started their career whereas their women counterparts proved that they can disturb the nation because they do not have husbands. Interestingly, this text was shared by a strong woman who I respect! I was wonderstruck!

Why could she not immediately think of Mother Teresa and the like who could heal millions of people? What is stopping her from thinking of women who have lead the nations, corporates and successful families in spite of men?

I am thinking of all such brainwashing efforts made in the past! Starting from Seetha being sent to the jungle just because someone commented on Rama's judiciary system, there are several examples till recent movies and the whatsapp message! In 1970s, there were movies made to show that a woman who is not educated is a much better person than an educated woman; A decade after that, there were movies to show that working women are arrogant, they can't run a family well. The next decade saw movies that women can't run business; if they run, they are either stupid & arrogant or vulnerable to the villan's plots that a hero was needed to rescue them!!

Incidentally, I was watching a movie that said a good wife would serve the husband alcohol at home and she would search for his ex-girl friend and let him be with her for a day (may be more) in spite of the fact that their married life is very beautiful and it is very painful for her to let him be with another woman. Wow, the modern day representation of Nalayini!! Why there is no such attempts from a man to keep his wife happy? Does this mean that only men had a broken love? For every man who had to forego his love to get married to another woman, there is a woman who has lost her love, right? What happens to them? They can't choose to be with their ex-boyfriend, though the husband is willing to let her go  because the boyfriend wants her to come without the thali & the husband has a daughter to be taken care! Wow!!

Current century film makers have learnt not to comment on capability of women; it does not matter anyway!! All the heroines are beauty queens who would be liked by all men for their looks and ads portraying women as very weak willed who would drop everything and follow men just by the bikes they ride in or the deodorants they use! Sure, men are not going to stop their attempts to brainwash subtly. What are women going to do about this?

பேராண்மை!

எழுபது வயதிருக்கும் அந்தப் பெண்மணிக்கு. சற்றே கூனிட்ட முதுகு. வறுமை முகத்தில் வரைந்த வரிகளும் வயது வழங்கிய நரையும் எழுபது வயதைத் தொண்ணூறாய்க் காட்டின. வேலை வேண்டும் என அவர் என்னிடம் வந்த நாளை என்னால் மறக்க இயலாது! ஆயிரம் ரூபாய் சம்பளம் வந்தால் போதுமென்றும் அதற்கு என்ன வேலையும் செய்வதாக அவர் கூறிய நிமிடத்தில் என்னுள் இருந்த உணர்வுகளை எப்படி விவரிப்பது! உடல் கூனிய போதும் உள்ளம் கூனாத கம்பீரம். தன்மானத்துடன் வாழ நினைக்கும் அவரது துணிவையும் நம்பிக்கையையும் வியந்த அதே நேரத்தில் இந்த வயதிலும் கடும் உடலுழைப்பு இருந்தால் மட்டுமே ஒருவேளை பசியாறும் நிலையில் நம் முதியவர்களை வைத்திருக்கும் வலி உயிர் குடைந்தது! அவரை விட வயது குறைந்த என் தாயார் பணி ஒய்வு பெற்று எட்டு வருடமாயிற்று!

ஒரு வேலையும் வாங்காமல், மாதம் ஆயிரம் ரூபாய்களை அவருக்குக் கொடுப்பது எனக்கு கடினமானதல்ல. ஆனால் அவர் அதற்கு ஒத்துக்கொள்வதாயில்லை! அவரது கம்பீரத்தைக் களையும் அவப்பணி எனக்குப் பிடிக்கவில்லை. அதனால், நாற்காலிகளையும், கதவுகளையும், வாரத்தில் சில நாட்கள் ஈரத்துணியால் துடைக்கும் வேலைக்கு மாதம் ஆயிரம் என்று முடிவாயிற்று!  ஒரு மாதம் எளிதாய்க் கடந்தது. இரண்டாம் மாதம் வேலைக்கு வருவதில் சில சிரமங்கள் அவருக்கு - முதுமை அளித்த கொடை! இரண்டு வாரத்திற்குப் பின் வந்த அவர், இனி வேலைக்கு வர இயலாதென்றும் இப்படி விடுப்பு எடுத்தபின்னும் சம்பளம் வாங்குவது சரியில்லை என்று தான் கருதுவதாகவும் கூறி விடை பெற்றார். அந்த மாதச் சம்பளமாக ஒரு ஆயிரம் ரூபாயை அவரிடம் கொடுப்பது பெரும்பாடாய்ப் போயிற்று!!

அடுத்த ஒரு மாதத்தில், அவர் வலி தாங்க முடியாமலோ, அவர் போன்றவர்களை வறுமையில் வைத்திருக்கும் அவமானம் பொறுக்க இயலாமலோ, இயமன் ஒரு பேருந்து வடிவில் அவர் உயிர்பறித்தான்!! கொள்ளி வைக்கப் பிள்ளையில்லை! ஒரு வேளை பணம் இருந்திருந்தால் உறவுப் பிள்ளைகள் ஈமக்கடன் செய்திருக்கக்கூடும்! கூர்காவாக எங்கள் தெருக்களை காவல் காக்கும் அவரது கணவரும் தோழி ஒருவரும் மட்டும் நின்று ஒருவாறாக இறுதி மரியாதை செய்துமுடித்தனர்!!  வேறு யாரும் பெயருக்காகக்கூட, அருகிலில்லை! ஏனென்ற கேள்வியும், இனம்புரியாத வலியும் மனதில்!

ஒரு மரணம் ஒருவரை இப்படிப் புரட்டிப்போடுமா? தாடியுடன் எவரும் பார்த்திராத கூர்க்கா முகத்தில் காடாய் தாடி; நமஸ்தேஜி என்று புன்னகைக்கும் அந்த முகம் நிமிர்ந்து கூட யாரையும் பார்ப்பதில்லை! உணவு உண்பதில்லை!  இறுதிச்சடங்கு செய்த பெண், வருத்தத்தோடு கூறினார், "இப்போதெல்லாம் யாரும் கட்டிய மனைவிக்காகக் கூட இப்படி வருந்துவதில்லை! திருமணம் செய்து கொள்ளாவிடினும், தத்தமது திருமண பந்தத்திலிருந்து ஏதோ காரணத்தால் விலகி, இவர்கள் இருவரும் கிட்டத்தட்டமுப்பது வருடங்களாக ஒன்றாக வாழ்ந்தனர். இப்போது இப்படி ஆகிவிட்டது. கூர்க்கா இன்னும் எத்தனை நாள் உயிருடனிருப்பார் என்று தெரியவில்லை ". அதன் பின்னர் அவர் கூறிய எதுவும் என் செவியில் விழவில்லை! 

பிறன்மனை நோக்காப் பேராண்மை!! எத்தனை எளிதாய்ச் சாடிவிட்டுப்போகிறோம்! மனைவியைத் தினமும் தீக்குளிக்க வைக்கும் ஏக பத்தினி விரத ராமன்கள் எத்தனை பேர்! உணவில் உப்பில்லை என்ற உப்புப் பெறாத விஷயத்திலிருந்து எல்லாவற்றிலும் குறைமட்டுமே காணக் காத்திருக்கும் நக்கீரர்கள் எத்தனை பேர்! தன்னை விட அதிகம் தெரியக்கூடாதென்று, மனைவியின் தன்னம்பிக்கையை பல்வேறு உத்திகள் மூலம் குலைத்துப்போட்டு, கட்டை விரல் கேட்கும்   துரோணர்கள் எத்தனை பேர்! இந்திரன் பிழைக்கு மனைவியை கல்லாக வாழச்சொல்லும் கௌதமர்கள் எத்தனை பேர்! தான் மனதுக்குள் இந்திரானாய் இருந்தாலும், கண்ணகியாகக் கால் சிலம்புவரை கழற்றித் தரவேண்டும் என  நினைப்போர் எத்தனை பேர்! இவை யாவும் பேராண்மையின் இலக்கணங்களா என்ன? பிறன்மனை நோக்குதல் எத்தனை இழிவோ அத்தனை இழிவுதானே இவையும்!! இன்னும் சொல்லப்போனால், பிறன்மனை நோக்குவதற்கு இன்னொருவர் துணை தேவை - நோக்கும் பெண்ணின்/ஆணின் துணை தேவை! ஆனால் பிற குற்றங்களுக்கு இன்னொருவர் துணை தேவையில்லை! ஆனால் அந்த குற்றங்கள் எத்தனை எளிதாக மறக்கப்பட்டுவிடுகின்றன! அலட்சியப்படுத்தப்படுகின்றன! கூடா நட்பு கேடாய் முடியும் என்பதும் ஆறாதே நாவினால் சுட்டவடு என்பதும் நிகரன்றோ!

புலனடக்கம் என்பது எல்லா புலன்களுக்கும்தானே! தனது பேச்சைக்கட்டுபடுத்த இயலாதவர்கள், தன உணவுப் பழக்கத்தை மாற்றிக்கொள்ள இயலாதவர்கள், பிறரைக் குறைவாய்க்  கருதலாமோ? பொதுவாகவே தன் குற்றம் நீக்கி பிறர்குற்றம் காணும் பண்பு நம்மிடம் குறைந்துகொண்டே இருக்கிறது! வள்ளுவர்கூட, அன்புடைமை, இனியவை கூறல், நடுவுநிலைமை, ஒழுக்கமுடைமை அதிகாரங்களுக்குப் பின்னால்தான் பிறன்மனை விழையாமையை வைத்திருக்கிறார்! அரசியலில் ஆறாவது அதிகாரமாகக் குற்றம் கடிதலை வைத்ததன் மூலம் குற்றம் கடிதலின் சிறப்பை வலியுறுத்திய  வள்ளுவர் "வியவற்க எஞ்ஞான்றும் தன்னை" என்ற கருத்தை அதே அதிகாரத்தில் முன்வைக்கிறார்! உலகப்பொதுமறையை உலகுக்கு அளித்த தமிழ்கூறும் நல்லுலகம் கற்றபின் அதற்குத்தக நிற்காததென்ன?

Reflection on Karma Clearing Program - 3 years of attempt!!!

Three years completed since I started attempting the great "Karma Clearing Program".  When I started it on the 27th of September 2011, I was hoping that I would clear it in the first attempt itself like any other test I have attempted to; this was in spite of the author warning that in his many years of practice he has cleared it only twice. There was a bit of (no, a lot of) overconfidence in me that made me think like that!!

After two years of trying, the rules I was skeptical were no criticism and no expression of dissatisfaction. But, now I realize how these rules are interwoven. Modern psychologists talk about HALT - especially in "Addiction Recovery". When you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired it is very easy to feel depressed or tempted to consume alcohol or drugs; so they advice the patient to be watchful of the HALT state and resolve it quickly.  But if you observe the karma clearing program, the rules will get you into HALT state(s) and expect you to behave yourselves. It takes highest discipline not to express dissatisfaction and criticism when you are in any of the HALT states.

• The "One major meal a day" rule will make you feel hungry most of the time through the day.
• Any introspection will reveal the conflicting thoughts and feelings within you. That will easily make you feel angry at yourselves; you may easily think that others are causing you to feel those conflicting feelings if you are not careful :-)
• When you recall the day in reverse and observe your thoughts & actions, you are alone mentally even if you are middle of thousands of people. When you try helping someone without leaving a trace, you are trying to be alone.
• The "Arise Earlier" rule will make you feel tired because your sleep quota reduces and because of the physical activity you need to do in that one hour.

To be precise, you are in all states of HALT on each day and you are trying to recover from the addiction of expressing dissatisfaction and criticism. Please note, this does not mean that you should or can run away from your duties. If your role needs you to review and give feedback, you should without expressing your dissatisfaction and give the review in an objective manner! In professional roles, it is fairly easier; because, all of us know if we need work done by our peers, bosses, subordinates, clients, suppliers we can not express ourselves  as freely. We have learnt how to mask ourselves nicely.

But in personal roles it is very tough - especially with those who can do nothing for you, it gets even tougher!! Character is how you treat those who can do nothing for you. But if you think deeper, the moment you consider someone as small and be proud that you are treating them well, your character dies. You are only not expressing how you feel. This is mental garbage again! It will come out as dissatisfaction at some point in time! The only way is to consider every one equally and have no pride in doing so; better way to put it is, understand that all are equal and they are right in their own ways. I think, this is one of the two biggest realizations I got this year, the other being relationship between the nine rules and HALT.

In the last one year, I felt conflicted many times when the professional trainings expected me to give feedback at the personal level; it is in contradiction with what I am trying to achieve! Not only that, I had to work closely with someone who considers himself (only himself) as content & process authority and interested in giving constant feedback. So in addition to managing the anger generated by my own introspections, observations of my thoughts & actions, I had to handle the anger being generated by the constant feedbacks - sometimes meaningful, sometimes not! Hmm… it was and is tough!!

I can't say that there is major improvement in the nine-rule program in the last one year. I am still trying and feel it is worth keep trying till I succeed!!

Responsibility! Karunakaran Strikes Again!!

My God! There is one more topic matching! Responsibility!!  I sure want to meet this person! I was reading 11 Sep issue of Puthiya thalamurai today.  Karunakaran speaks about very same things I wanted to cover! The only differences is, I would have given examples from IT industry or coaching / teaching while he is giving examples from journalism. Given that we are working in two different industries, it is quite natural I suppose!

I have seen a few individuals who will just deliver what is written in their job description. They would even stay late to deliver what is required as per their JD. But, if it is not defined, even if it is the right thing to do for the welfare of the organization, department (sometimes themselves too), they will not do and they will simply reject saying, it is not for them to do. It need not even a complicated, high effort or high risk task; just not being in their JD is sufficient for them to refuse doing the task!!!

This has been a disturbing point for me! How do we make people add value and not just go by JD! Of course all the JDs / RACIs are quite useful in large organizations to avoid conflicts and ensure smooth functioning; but if the employees depend only on these tools, we would end up in "Operation success, patient died" situations. How do we make people respect the boundaries but still go the extra mile to deliver? Can this be taught how we teach programming? Is this teachable at all? Shouldn’t the organizations focus on recruiting individuals who would own the outcome instead of a piece of work? How do you assess this quality of interviewee? Not sure if psychologists have an answer for it!

In the 2008 Taj attack, all & each one of the Taj employees placed safety of the guests over their own. How could Taj do it while other organizations are struggling to make employees support customers - with something as simple as providing a user id to a legitimate user? Is it their century old conventions and wisdom? Not all century old organizations exhibit this behavior… Another organization with such heritage  I know, struggles to make their employees fix the production failure instead of fighting whether it is due to their applications or due to their hardware or due to the way someone launched the code!! Isn't it not bigger than the job descriptions and which department was at fault!!! How can we make people understand that their power lies in providing the service and NOT in denying the service!!! I am searching for my answers!!

Color Color What Color?

In one of the professional forums, someone shared a concept that describes organizational culture. It was an interesting concept to listen to for various reasons.

Red organization is the one that exercises power constantly with fear being the driving factor, Orange organization is the one that is constantly looking for beating the competition while Teal organizations focus on deep introspection sharing, consensus, and commitment to improve character and wisdom.  The person who shared the concept to the audience believed that it is an all new idea. More interestingly tried generalizing that India is Orange while US is Green, getting closer to Teal; also he believes that once an organization is Teal they would stay Teal ever after unless there is any life changing event. That is where the contention is!

First of all, it is not a new concept! If you study three 'Gunas' described in Indian philosophy, you can clearly see that Red and Tamasik are similar; Orange and Rajasik are the similar and Teal and Satvik are similar. Please note that they are only similar but not same because being Satvik is much more than Teal. For example, a Satvik person does help others because he thinks it is his duty to help; he is not proud of being helpful; he expects nothing in return!! Unlike the western management philosopher, the Indian philosophers felt that each one of us have these three gunas while we should constantly strive become satvik.

While Indian gurus recognized the impact of the environment and the people you interact with on your thought process and behaviors, they did not generalize that a community can be at one level or the other, because they understand that it is the quality of mind that gets expressed through behaviors!! India believes in continuous introspection and cleansing; if not your thoughts can become impure. It does not take a life changing event to switch from one level to the other - just different type of environment can do the trick unless you are very careful about your thoughts.

The most interesting part of the session is presenter believed that India could never have been Teal!!!  What surprises me the most is, someone who claims to be a researcher & more importantly preaches that each individual is to be treated as an individual, cultures should be respected has not done the groundwork before making such statement in a forum of professionals! How will someone orange have ethical standards defined even for war? While the focus is to be Satvik and not create unrest within self and others through thoughts, speech and acts (like war), there were ethical standards for war in case war becomes inevitable. Ancient Indian war ethics mandates that a warrior does not kill elders, patients, children, women and anyone who does not have an equally powerful weapon; even when you are fighting someone with equal power, no stabbing from the back; war is to be fought only when there is sunlight! Sure, a civilization that sells weapons to those who bomb schools, hospitals and places of worship can never understand these war ethics!

It is high time we Indians realize the fact that we have lost and losing our leadership edge by exhibiting behaviors of competitiveness & winning at all cost. While being ready to accept such generalizations is bad, not acting to strengthen our leadership qualities is a sin! The colonial era wanted us to be only clerks who would just execute the instructions; the next information era is slowly influencing us to create software that would execute the instructions. Of course, we should make use of the opportunities to strengthen our economical growth. But we should start thinking about solving our local problems. If we can write software to sequence the actions of robots in a factory, statistically analyze the sales, demand, supply etc., can we not write software that would analyze the data from our satellites & alert people on natural disasters?   I am more concerned with our education system than ever. Isn't it time for us to focus on leadership skills than just scores, thinking than memorizing skills problem solving than numerical abilities, technical excellence than just employability? 

It does not matter if someone calls us Red or Orange or Teal! What matters is how do we realize our strengths, develop & exhibit strong character and make our country a better place to live!